orientation, masturbation, vocation, books and boys made my 1st day of school!

   I'd like to acknowledge Reggie for inspiring me to write about my 1st week as a junior Thomasian student nurse. Although I agree that making fun of the professors' follies is proven better than Stresstabs, I have to add that a student can add spice to his/her monotonous life by not being a loser outside school (it could be at home, mall, party place,etc.). I don't refer to SEX only, OK reggie? =p

June 13, 2007: RLE orientation: Nursing is a vocation.

   We got the chance to meet our new Clinical Instructors for this semester. They told us the usual stuffs -- rules, grades, patients, care, rules, rules, threats, threats. Derrick (my forever seatmate) kept on telling me that he's pressured and unhappy because he has to face hardships of nursing when all he's ever wanted is to "drive a plane". That also made me think if really want to document information on a patient's chart, to write on a weekly column at Philippine Star or to teach English subjects to Highschool students. 3rd year is the time when we are being baked, burned (our eyebrows, probably) and prepared for the reality that Nursing is not as easy as what others think. The question is, "DO I REALLY WANT TO BE A CARAMEL CAKE FOREVER? WOULD I BE HAPPIER IF I'D BE MADE INTO A CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER MOUSSE?"

June 14, 2007: Literature, Med-Surg: Masturbation, Boys and School
  
   My dear friend was asked by our Literature professor, Sir Hibek, if he put semen on his hair to groom it. Then, Sir noticed how my dear friend was acting so innocent about masturbation that he even called him a hypocrite. Sir told us that all boys masturbate. A 19 year old guy who doesn't do it has missed almost one and a half decades of a different titillating pleasure. Why deny it?
   My Med-Surg professor, Mrs. Escolar-Chua, imposed a lot of rules but she can excuse one thing: SLEEPINESS. The magic words that symbolize being true serves as our ticket to get out of the room and control our sleepyhead. This weekend, I am going to practice the best way I can say those words, "Ma'am, may I be excused from the class?" and of course, I am going to read my HOLY BIBLE in Nursing: Medical-Surgical Nursing book by Ignatavicius.
   After school, I ate chocolates with a beloved friend who gave it. I had so much fun just being myself -- mapanglait, simple at masayahing tao na walang pakialam kahit magmukhang dugyot sa harap ng isang mapanglait at medyo may itsurang tao. Hahaha.
   This day proved again that being true and loving myself can get me far, that the phenylethylamine in chocolates can make people happy and that this happiness within radiates out and can influence others.

June 15, 2007: 4Bs: Birthday, Books, Beloved, Busted
 
   Happy Birthday Derrick! Thanks for the Chicken Teriyaki lunch treat and for the many years we've spent together as seatmates-turned-friends.
 I wasn't expecting that the bulky books I ordered would be given this day. I wasn't prepared! Good thing, I have a beloved friend who helped me in carrying the books as we headed to Aling Ising's uniform center (?) and talked about everything that honestly made our ass laugh so hard!
 Friday would have been perfect if not for someone I'm planning to "reject". I hate hurting people. Can anybody tell me the best way I can make someone a friend after rejection?

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Koreans and Jail.

Ji Joo Hoon, Rain Bi, Hyuan-Jae Jo and Joe Cheng

Though I couldn't even pronounce their names well, I've been thinking abot how "perfectly hot" these korean stars are. They're the typical chinito-asiano-macho/payatot-maputi-can't-speak-english guys yet they manage to make me giggle like I've never known other koreans/taiwanese before. I've spent sleepless nights with them though I know they're offering the same things as the others. I've even gone out of my kuripot shell just to be with them for 2 days or so. Oh my goolay. I guess I'm having too much of my koreanovela dvd series!

60 bucks/DVD: Echague St., Quiapo, Manila

Cen and I went to this place last wednesday to have a DVD shopping spree for the summer break. I eagerly looked for the best koreanovelas I've listed based on the researches (thanks to teentalk and youtube). Here's what happened:

Vendor: *Just after I paid for the 7th dvd* Re-raid! Raid!
Me: *thinking* What the hell? Where is Cen? Shet. Kelangan kong tumakbo. Matanda na naman 'yon para umuwi!
Cen: Den! May raid daw. Takbo tayo. Dali!
Me: *approaching the nearest gate still thinking* Shet. Ang daming pulis. Sinasara na nila yong building. Hala. Naka-heels pa ako at uniform. Nakakahiya! *as I tried getting out of the small space left from the building's entrance*
Cen and Me: *run*

We were both shaking out of panic when suddenly, Cen saw another vendor (this time, Cen planned to buy a silicon case for her cellphone -- What the fuck eh?)

Vendor: Mabuti na lang ligtas kayo. Minsan kasi nagpapaputok yung mga tindero ng dvd.
Cen: Oo nga po eh. Ate, magkano po diyan? *pointing to the silicon case*
Vendor: 40 lang.
Cen: Eto po, bayad.
Vendor: Teka lang, kukuha ako ng sukli.*then, she went back, also panicking*
Cen: Ate, sobra po sinukli ninyo *vendor grabbed the excess change she gave cen and ran so fast*
Me: Hala, nireraid din dito.
Cen and Me: Takbo na tayo. Dali.

I almost got into jail because of too much support to these korean guys. Wait, I think, I have to change it. I supported the pirates' industry. Yes, worse term, yet more accurate.

So, let me ask, do we have DVD players in the jail? :D

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=p

  
   Masaya ako. Masayang-masaya dahil wala ka na.

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My mind.

 One of the worst moments of my life: the last 2 weeks of any semester. Everyone seems to enjoy seeing me tortured before allowing me to be on a long break! You'll see. Soon, I'd get enough sleep.

 P.S.
   Thanks for being guilty. My hunches never fail. ;)

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You get me, right?

 
  You know how much I value privacy. I've remained silent for quite a long time now because I trusted you before and I've never wanted to brand you names that would hurt you again. Now, let me relay one simple message: "Spying" (as my friend describes it) on everything that I am into will NEVER make you a part of my real world.

  "I pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding someone to live for, great enough to die for." If you think this is an impossible dream, then try sleeping. It's death's brother anyway.

  P.S.
 For the sake of YOUR privacy, I chose not to elaborate on the "thing" anymore. You know who you are and what you are doing.  Make a move. You're old enough.

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a random love thought.

   You never lose by loving. You lose by holding back for nothing. So get a life. As the cliche goes, "Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together."

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I am in love.

 

  With them, of course! Haha. I don't know why I am suddenly into these korean actors who have played cold-turned-sweet leading men of so-gorgeous girls. I can't wait for summer: when I can spend more time with them,, in my fantasy and dvd player!

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Para sa'yo, ang laban na 'to.

   "Face your fear. Live your dream."

   Manny Pacquiao would surely agree with this not just because he is an endorser of No Fear line but because he's had many bouts risking his life for what else: boxing.

   Just like him, I've had my first punch of Clinical Nursing -- being in the Delivery Room. Witnessing how Normal Spontaneous Delivery and Cesarian Delivery take place tickled my nerves. However, finding out I HAVE to directly participate in the (Normal Spontaneous) delivery really feared me. It involves life and I just can't "fabricate" everything (unlike in writing a Nursing History or Nursing Care Plans -- these are paperworks). Thank God, I was able to ponder on things during the Christmas break.

  January 4, 2007 -- my date with fear. I met my patient, 5cm dilated, at 1:00pm. I knew right then that before the end of my shift(6:00pm), she would give birth but still, I wished she wouldn't. For four hours, I was with her as I noted her uterine contractions that were giving her pain for 50hours already. Without thinking of my own inhibitions, I prayed for the fast progress of her labor. At 5:00pm, she was prepared for the delivery. While putting on my scrubs and gloves, I had no other intentions but to do things right. It was already 5:30pm when we heard the first cry of her baby girl. It was really amazing to see how a mom (after "suffering") would smile like nothing happened upon kissing her newly-born. That moment overwhelmed the sight of bloody torn vagina being "stitched" by the doctors. Everything went so fast that I didn't even notice I was able to deliver the placenta like a pro!

   That punch of fear has allowed me to stand up and realize that with the profession I am aiming for, I can affect many lives. That includes my relationship with my Mame --who has always been there to receive the punches I miss.


Warning: Don't click if you think you couldn't take these videos:

-- A Normal Spontaneous Delivery (from YouTube)
--This is Cesarean Delivery (from YouTube)

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Resolutions are not meant!

 
   30 things (whether profound or not) that made my 2006 a year of FIRST:

   1. Weigh 98 lbs for my 5'3" height (and be called anorexic)
   2. Cook rice and slice a really big fish.
   3. Kiss well.
   4. See a penis of a 60 year old man.
   5. Witness a vagina "throwing up" a baby via Normal Spontaneous Delivery.
   6. Be with blood in the operating room.
   7. Wear skirts, shorts and heels confidently.
   8. Realize that I am not ugly at all.
   9. Appreciate the value of shutting up.
   10. Love wheat bread!
   11. Talk "adult-ly" with my HS friends.
   12. Show my weakness: kids.
   13. Drink peanut butter.
   14. Eat pastel from Cagayan de Oro.
   15. Think about my future.
   16. Miss my Ate and Kuya (now living in their own houses).
   17. Try to be a registered Filipino voter.
   18. Let go of my Journalism degree dream.
   19. ...and just pursue what is there: Nursing
   20. Throw my shaver and wax my armpits and legs.
   21. Religiously buy magazines.
   22. Spend someone's 7,000 bucks for shopping.
   23. Not sweat small stuffs with Cen's seasonal egocentric personality.
   24. Tell lies to drive away people.
   25. Own a Motorola Phone.
   26. Fontana.
   27. See french kissers!
   28. To have devirginized close friends.
   29. Legal.
   30. Love myself first, in order to learn how to give it to someone else.

 I have only ONE resolution: Lessen my peanut butter intake.

 Happy New Year! =)

 

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Lucky Zanjoe, Mi Amor.

 
   In just 3 days, I have dreamt twice about being with someone romantically, as in a marriage. The "lucky guys" were Manong Amor ( An uncle I haven't seen about 3 years now) and  Zanjoe Marudo.  I was a different person in those dreams. I was so sweet even peanut butter would consider going back to Lily's kitchen. We showed a lot of public affection, even in front of my famlly! In real life, I don't think I could be like that. That's why I used the word "lucky".

  Since then hitherto, I have been wondering what those dreams were trying to tell me. Did they even mean something? Or I just thought too much about someone older than I am ( "uncle" figure) or hotter than Piolo (that is Zanjoe, of course)?

 I am a little nearer the marrying age I set for myself (three years ago) but not one has even showed a sign of being a good husband slash father (of my future kids). "Good" for me is Papa. He is my exact opposite yet he knows how to handle me well.

 Until God has finished paving the way for the real "lucky" one, I will just have to wait and sleep. Don't wake me up. 


 

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